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Got My Sassy Pants On

Just kidding, I’m not wearing pants. Judging by how the day has gone, I probably forgot to put them on sometime this morning and have been walking around in my underwear like the emperor who was convinced he was fully dressed. But if he can walk around with head held high in his birthday suit, I can pretend to be sassy and on top of it. Right?! Fake it till you make it, sweet thang.

I saw this brilliant inspo photo on Pinterest that I couldn’t get out of my head. For weeks it has haunted me with its beauty. I know my limits, though, and one of them is that I don’t have proper tools for hand painting (I know, I know, it’s on my list), and I’ve never hand painted on such a tiny canvas in my life. A friend helped a sister out with some cheeky leopard print glitter and I squealed with excitement when the little glitter filled baggie made it to my doorstep.

I’m going to go ahead and say it so you hoes don’t need to say it behind my back. The glitter is a little too big and my placement is weird or whatever. This may come as a surprise, but I wasn’t born a big spotted cat- it’s going to take practice. Now go on and tell me to my face right down there 👇🏼 in the comments. I promise I can take it. Mwuah.

My vision for this was to go a little crazier than I did, and put on some stiletto tips. I was going to go all pointy pink kitty, work be damned. I didn’t exactly change my mind…more like I was forced into just slapping some clear over my natural nails so I could pick up the kiddos and not break a nail. At that point I just said meh and left it alone. I did this mani in three different segmented steps since I needed to soak off my previous clear that was lifting.

Step 1: Soak off and clean nail beds/push back cuticles. I can say as an update to my previous post on Triple Vitamin liquids that it most definitely does not have a 7 minute flat soak off. I was sitting there with heated rice, soaking off and rubbing on a paper towel for at least 15 minutes to get my nails completely clean. And this is why I use peel base! But only over clear because I’m not about that shredded nail life. I can’t even imagine devoting so much time to soak/prep every week anymore. I think the last time I did it was about a month ago, thankfully. And my skin gets so dry, even with coconut oil in the acetone.

Step 2: I worked, cause I do that. And then I pictured picking up the kids and immediately needing to make dinner with naked nails and that was going to be the end of that. My nails would surely get chopped while mincing onion, or snap off when I reached for the drawer pull and just oh so slightly missed. Nope. I went ahead and did my apex layers (2 mini center layers and 2 full coats. You can read about it in this post) and activated. My middle kid saw my nails as soon as I got her from the classroom and said “mama, you ok? Why your nails no have color??”.

Step 3: Tend to kids, make them feel loved and cherished, fill their bellies, refuse to read a bedtime story because I had to tell them 8493748328 times to eat their dinner, get dressed and brush their teeth and it’s now 45 minutes past their bedtime. Then when all three are tucked in, sigh, wonder if it’s worth it to devote time and then shape and get out the dips to make my middle kid not question my sanity or wellbeing.

For this look, I used Diplomatiq Nails Blush Cruller and Forgot You Existed. Blush Cruller is currently out of stock but Lauren is working on remaking it to get it just right. She’s meticulous like that! I’m pretty sure she had 3 different version of almost-Wednesday that she refused to sell under the same name because it was almost there but not it. I admire that. Keep on keeping on, girl. And like always, the dips are just top notch! Blush Cruller is fine and goes on like silk, no buffing required! I used a coat of Revel clear under and on top of the glitter, which I only used one coat of, and pat down flat.

For the leopard spots (seriously, can someone tell me how to place these so they don’t look so weird? Should they all be facing the same direction or something?!), I did two fine coats of blush cruller, lightly buffed before activating, applied a coat of base and hand placed the spots. You can easily do this with any chunky glitter by taking a pointy thing (orange stick, cuticle pusher, toothpick), touching the wet base on your nail and tapping it onto a piece of glitter. This will allow you to pick it up and put it down where you want it. Or where you think you want it, in my case. It’s not where I want it because it doesn’t look right. Ugh. Just don’t look at it closely, ok?

I dotted some base in the center of the spots and sprinkled with pink glitter for a little more dimension. These spots require clear- not optional unless you like having things that snag your clothing at every turn. I know there’s been several huge debates on what clear is the best, and I won’t get into that. I use Revel clear or Invisible Zooty and brush it well with a stiff brush and I’ve never had an issue. Some people swear by Mia Secret, some swear by Sparkle clear. I say as long as you’re happy with it then whatever. Revel didn’t dull the shine on my glitter in the least.

Do you have nail goals to push yourself out of your safe zone? I have some brushes and dotting tools in my cart and hope to bring this same look back (maybe with stiletto tips, who knows) with some hand painting. In the meantime, I’m so super glad to have this glitter to carry me over and I think I’ll play with it a few more times. Maybe a nude with red? Maybe just every color imaginable. That lime green GOR from last year is still calling my name for the summer, I might have to go matte and recall Jersey Shore of years past. GTL!


P.S. Snuck a little half eaten food nailfie in there for you, Sim. 😘

8 thoughts on “Got My Sassy Pants On

  1. Why are you literally the best with words? Can you write me a self help book in your spare time?! Your nails are gorgeous and I will not tell you the glitter is oddly placed. As always, you are #goals. Love, Assy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I would tell you to your face if it looked bad, not behind your back haha..the spots look great to me! Now, if you could stop being so damm puuurfect, that would be great (see what I did there? Mwahaha)!

    Liked by 1 person

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